Mark and Maddie

I'm not a parent nor do I play one on TV.

I am, however, an uncle--a very proud uncle of a nephew and niece, born to my younger brother and his wife. Mark will be nine years old in December, and Madison Leigh was born just over three weeks ago.

I've always loved Mark (Stinker, Little Mark, Markie--as time has progressed). He's such a sweet boy. Mark is autistic. He does not speak. Neither dampens my love for him. I think it makes me love him more. I daily pray God will loose his tongue even now past the age when doctors doubt he will ever speak. He likes the UNC football helmet magnet on my stereo. I like to watch him pull it off and on repeatedly. I think he likes the feel of the magnetic pull as the helmet moves away and towards the metal. Mark makes me smile inside. This weekend I really noticed just how big his feet are. I asked him to show me his big feet. He threw his right bare foot up to my face like a Radio City Music Hall Rockette. I enjoyed watching him later devour a 7-layer nacho supreme and four tacos. I love my nephew. He is a gift from God to me.

I'm not a mom (naturally) nor have I fathered a child. I've never quite understood the immediate love a mother has for her child after giving birth. Maddie changed all that. Even though she's not even a month old, doesn't recognize her uncle, and has a weeble-wobble head, I've instantly become attached to her. I look forward to seeing Maddie, watching her sleep, nurse a bottle, and look around, marveling at her surroundings as only newborns do. She's my flesh and blood. I'm not her parent, but in a limited sense, she belongs to me--at least in a small corner of my heart.

Over the past couple years, I've become resigned to the possibility that God's sovereign will may not include me getting married. I may remain single, dedicating my life singularly to the church and ministry to which God called me. As a quadriplegic, I'm not guaranteed I could father a child even if I found that special woman who would make me the second most-important person in her life. I wouldn't know (for lack of a better phrase) until I tried.

At times, gazing down at little Maddie or watching perturbed as Mark changes my thermostat settings (he likes pushing not only my buttons, but the thermostat's), it's tough not feeling my heart begin to swell along with my tear ducts. Still, lying awake at night with a bout of insomnia, I know God's will is best even if I don't understand it in my human finitude. I know there are many aunts and uncles in the world feeling the same emotions as I do. I know Mark and Maddie have my blood flowing through their veins, and I can invest my life into theirs as they grow older.

I'm a pastor of a growing, missional church plant here in Laurinburg, North Carolina. I'm a professor to almost 200 college students yearly at UNC-Pembroke. I'm a writer of Sunday school lessons for hundreds of teachers around the United States. I'm a son to my parents and brother to my two siblings. But tonight, I'm wondering if my most enjoyable role might be uncle to two (perhaps more in the future?) beautiful children.

I am "Uncle Scott" to Mark Raybon and Madison Leigh. I'm just so sorry they're both more beautiful than any of your children!

Scott